Black Friday...

I can now officially say, I hate Black Friday! I know that everyone complains that they start it earlier and earlier every year, and that its just too crazy to deal with, but my hatred for it is so much deeper. Beyond the fact that this day of excessive consumerism is just an excuse to spend way too much money on things people don't need and then just perpetuates this cycle of people missing the whole "point" of Christmas and just worrying about buying the best gift and trying so desperately to meet others' expectations. Black Friday is now costing people their families...

Several years ago, long before I so tragically lost my mother way too soon, I gathered up a group of my favorite girlfriends to spend the evening with me and my parents for my birthday. We all got dressed up and headed to The Melting Pot for a fancy meal, and it was a blast. I have always enjoyed spending time with my mom, and this night was no exception. Toward the end of the meal, one of my friends changed the subject from whatever we were talking about at the time to trying to decide where us girls were going to head next. I was a little annoyed, because my mother and step-father had just graciously treated us all to dinner, and I was really enjoying spending time with them and being silly. Several more times over the next several minutes, this friend kept bugging us to get going onto some other "fun" event that we should partake in. Finally, I guess she got fed up waiting, and she just stood up and said, "Let's go!" Even though it was MY birthday and I wanted to stay and hang out longer, I obliged and us young and hip gals went out on the town while my folks went home. That friendship didn't last long after that night, and looking back, I would give anything for 30 extra minutes laughing and chatting with my mom.

How does Black Friday compare to this night? Well, because now stores are staying open all day on Thanksgiving, or opening up at 9pm...or even earlier! IT IS THANKSGIVING PEOPLE! It is a day to spend time with the family that you never get to see but maybe twice a year. It is a day to be thankful for what you have. It is a day to focus on the important things in life, a day to remember your priorities. I don't want to leave my family early to go stand in the rain so that I can save a few bucks on some crappy toy. I don't want to sacrifice what little time I might have left with these people to go shop! I know that these stores aren't making me do anything, that these sales are going to happen whether I am there or not, but I just don't understand why our society thinks that this is an acceptable practice. If I do want to get one of these good deals, I have to sacrifice something much more valuable, something priceless, to obtain it. It is not worth it. I used to like Black Friday. I used to enjoy getting up early after my turkey coma, getting a Starbucks, and beginning the Christmas season with a bang, but I will no longer participate. These stores are acting a lot like my selfish and insensitive friend, they are asking me to give up a very sacred family holiday to go be reckless and irresponsible. I no longer wish to be friends with them.

If you are heading out for Black Friday---I mean Black Thursday---that is your choice. Just make sure you aren't giving up something much more valuable than what you are getting.

Creating a Christmas budget...that you can STICK to!

Preventing myself from going overboard when buying things for other people is the hardest part of budgeting for me! I am constantly thinking of gifts I could get people (usually for no reason) because I guess that is how America is taught to show appreciation...buy something! I could go months without buying myself a new shirt or some perfume, but it is almost impossible for me to leave a store without me grabbing a cool knick-knack or some other random trinket to give to a loved one and say, "Here, I saw this and thought of you!" Christmas is absolutely the WORST time of year for this habit! Partly because I start shopping so early, always with good intentions of staying on budget, but by the time the 25th of December rolls around, all of those tiny little "treasures" I have found FAR exceed what I had committed to spending. A few years ago, after getting really on-track with Dave's cash system, I created a great way to not only stay on budget for Christmas, but to also stay very organized with my gift giving and purchases! Here are a few tricks I use to be successful:

1) Decide on a TOTAL Christmas budget: When you start gearing up for Christmas shopping (I usually start right after Halloween...) decide what your Christmas budget is going to be. Ideally, you should have been stowing money away for a while, or at least had a plan where this money was going to come from. Deciding on the budget should NOT be determined by how many people you have to buy for or by what you believe people expect from you, it should SOLELY be determined by how much you can afford! For us, this budget has been $1000 total. This includes traditional gifts, stocking stuffers, hostess gifts for parties, gag gifts, and neighbor/coworker gifts. Once you have decided on your total budget, go to the bank and pull it all out in cash. (Again, if you have been saving and planning ahead, this should be easy!)

2) Start an envelope system solely for Christmas shopping: Next, grab a whole bunch of blank envelopes and a pen. Put a name or category on each envelope and don't forget to label one, "Whoops!" For example, I will label an envelope with each person I will be buying for, ie parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, children, spouse...etc. Then, have envelopes for other smaller categories like neighbors/friends/coworkers. As for your "Whoops" envelope, that is a little extra for those people that you forgot!!

3) Divvy up the cash! After each person and category is determined, it is now time to divvy up the cash! Start deciding how much you will allot to each envelope and put that amount of money inside. Maybe $25 for your sister, $100 for your kid, $50 to buy for your neighbors and coworkers...and then whatever is left, stick it into your "Whoops" envelope!

4) Keep it organized: As the season progresses, you can write that person's wish list on the envelope, or print it out and stick it inside. Use each envelope to document what you bought the person so you don't panic when it is time to deliver them and forget what is wrapped in that box! You can also keep receipts inside each person's envelope for easy returns later on!! When each person's envelope is empty of cash, you are done shopping...no accidentally going over budget, and no worrying if you have shopped for everyone on your list!

5) Whoops! The "Whoops!" envelope is great for those people who show up at your house with a gift that you weren't expecting, or for that person who you totally forgot to buy for! I like to buy gift cards with my "Whoops" money and have them on hand to quickly stick in a card at the last moment, and voila, instant gift! PLUS, many restaurants give bonus cards or gifts for buying a certain amount of gift cards, so its an easy way to get a little kick back for your Christmas shopping :)

Other great tips for staying on budget:

• Talk about your goals for saving money over the holidays with your family and friends. You would be surprised how many people are in your same boat. They might actually be relieved that you just want to do it "low key" this year. Last year I hosted all of my extended family at my home for Christmas, and I suggested that everyone donate to their favorite charity or do some random act of kindness (doesn't need to cost money) and just share with everyone instead of exchanging gifts. It was so meaningful and we had a lot of fun just being together!
• Either avoid "Black Friday" or go with a VERY strict list! I have a love/hate relationship with this crazy holiday, but I know some people love it! Be sure to go into the store with an idea of what you want, and use your cash!! It can be a great way to stretch your gift buying dollars, but it is an equally great way of buying waaaaaaay too much stuff!
• Trade services with friends, neighbors, coworkers, and local family members. Offer as your gift a night of babysitting so they can head out. Offer to fix that laptop they desperately need repaired! Give your co-worker a "free pass" from kitchen duty in the break room! This is a great way to save a little cash, but the value of the gift is priceless!
• Make stuff! I know homemade gifts sometimes get a bad rap, but in certain situations, it might be really appreciated! I know one of my in-laws makes awesome blankets, bean bag chairs, and other kid items, so this year since I am buying my son a kitchen play set, I asked her to make him some of her sewn play food made out of felt. Saved her the money and hassle of getting her nephew a gift, and he will love it!!Or, if none of your family or friends appreciate that kind of stuff, make a whole bunch and sell it at one of the many Christmas Bazaars and use that money toward your budget!
• Prioritize. This is the most important, and easiest change to make. Really sit down and think about why you enjoy the holiday season so much. For me it is spending quality time with my family, playing in the snow, Christmas music, and drinking hot cocoa and looking at all of the lights. Get rid of some of those super time-consuming or expensive traditions you have that stress you out more than you enjoy, and replace them with more rewarding and personal memory-making events. I'm absolutely positive that in the long run, you will remember those quiet nights at home watching movies with your kids in front of the fire way more than running around all stressed out!

Let me know if any of you have any great money saving traditions or tips!!