Being content

I found a quote online today (and I hate that I couldn't find it's original author) but it said, "Someone else is happy with less than you have." That made me think about some of those things that I curse at and wish were better or newer... I hate our old run-down house with its peeling paint, worn floors, drafty windows, and occasional 6-8 legged visitors; but it is a house with heat, clean running water, electricity, and its in a safe neighborhood. I hate that my compact car can't fit a jogging stroller, it is getting pretty complicated to get Hudson in and out of, the windows need tinting so the sun wont beat in Hudson's eyes, and I desperately want keyless entry so that I am not struggling to get a door unlocked while holding a baby, diaper bag, purse, and groceries in the rain! But it is a nice car, the newest car I have ever owned, and it runs great, looks nice, and is very safe. I hate that I have a lack of stylish and form flattering clothes, but they are in decent shape, they serve the purpose of keeping me warm and dry, I have a place to wash them and keep them nice, and they help me represent my fun and colorful personality.

These things that I have are much more than many people in this world could ever ask for. The more I think about it, the more I just want those bigger and better things to make myself feel better and impress other people. If everyone lived in a house like mine, drove a car like mine, and dressed like me, would I be happy with what I had? Of course I would! So why, just because other people have more than I do, is my stuff suddenly not good enough? It's the proverbial cookie theory: A little girl is happily eating away at her cookie, thinking she is the luckiest little girl ever to have such a delicious treat, until another little girl comes along with TWO cookies...and then she is suddenly unhappy. I need to remember that it doesn't matter what is out there that I don't have. I need to look around me and be happy with what I do have. I need to find excitement and contentment in things that I can control and obtain. I need to set goals for myself that are realistic, and reward myself by doing things that wont sabotage my efforts. I need to be a big girl and take responsibility for my own actions and not wish and hope that some magical event will take place that will solve all of my problems. Yes, I took out way too many student loans, and that sucks. I wish I hadn't done that, but there is nothing I can do about it now except to just accept that this is my reality and take care of it. I am very lucky in the fact that I can afford to pay on them every month. I just heard that 1 out of every 5 people with student debt is in default. I can't imagine what it must be like to not have the money to pay your bills. Sulking and complaining about having to pay them every month does not make them go away any faster. But at least I had the ability to go to college, right? I love my education and I am very proud of myself for being the first one in my family to earn a college degree, let alone two of them!

I also need to focus on all of the blessings in my life that cannot be bought with money, because the richest people in the world are the people who have the most things that money can't buy. Here are a few things that I am so grateful for:

1. My husband is the greatest husband, father, provider, and friend a girl could ever dream of. He cooks, cleans, takes pride in being a dad, works hard, makes me laugh, and treats me like a princess. I appreciate him more than I could ever express.

2. My son was born absolutely healthy in every way. He wakes up with a smile on his face every morning and amazes me with what he learns each day. He throws me curve balls every once in a while, but it shows me how much strength and patience I have.

3. I have the most amazing family. I can count on them for everything. Each one of them has stepped up to the plate for me and sacrificed numerous times to make sure that I am doing okay. It's unfortunate that sometimes it takes a tragedy to make you realize how lucky you are to be surrounded by the people around you, but I am glad that they were there.

4. I am grateful for my job flexibility right now while I try to figure out exactly what I want to do long-term. I chose a career that I love, that is rewarding, and that forces me to learn each day and become a better person. Although it is not financially beneficial at the moment, it provides enough for me to be able to stick with it and wait out the economic storm.

5. I am just grateful to be able to wake up every morning. I have said before in my other blog, that sometimes when things are not going their best, and I dread having to get up to another day of dealing with a difficult situation, I try to remember the alternative. Not getting up. There are very few things that can happen to a person that will not get better with time, And even though things may be hard right now, they will get better. Every time something difficult is thrown my way, something great and positive usually comes a bit later. These tough times also remind me that money and "stuff" are so freaking unimportant!

I want nice things, I want financial freedom, and I want prosperity. But at what cost? Am I willing to sacrifice my marriage? Nope. Time with my child? Nope. My emotional well-being and sanity? Nope! I am going to keep plugging away and giving it my all, but I am also going to enjoy each day for the blessings it brings me and just enjoy the ride. Being gazelle intense is great, but if you are running so fast that you miss all of the scenery along the way, it's not worth it :)

Till next time,
Sarah