If I ever make working toward financial freedom look easy or sound magical, please let me know, because it isn't always puppy dogs and rainbows. I get really frustrated sometimes with living this way. Every time a friend boasts about buying their first home, getting a new car, going on a fancy vacation, or just living the life I envisioned for myself, I get pretty depressed. I try to remind myself that they may be living in a completely different financial situation than I am. Maybe they don't have the student debt, maybe they are bringing in two full-time incomes rather than one, maybe they are in debt up to their eyeballs and just hide it really well, or maybe they sell their organs on the black market...who knows. But I want it!!! I want it like a 3-year-old wants a Popsicle!! I can feel my inner little kid come out and I stomp my little feet and I scrunch up my little face, and I pout. Luckily, John and I rarely go through these moments at the same time so we have each other to bring the other one down off of the proverbial ledge.
Most of the time, the frustration and disappointment of living this way encourages me even more to try harder and push forward so we can move out of this stage in our lives, but sometimes I just want to take the easy way out and just do whatever I want. I wrestle with tough decisions like whether to stay home with my son and sacrifice financially, or to work and save up for our house. I struggle whether to ride out the economic downturn and hold out for my dream teaching position, or to put all of it aside and just take any job that will pay me. I wrestle with whether I should take $100 out of savings and go buy myself some clothes that actually fit me and look halfway decent, or keep living in my too big or too small pants and the unflattering shirts I already have from Old Navy. Every decision I make has its price and I worry that I am making the right ones. My optimistic side begs me to look around and take into consideration all of the positives in my life: my amazing husband, my healthy and happy baby boy, the nice warm home we live in, the food we are able to afford to eat, our supportive friends and family, our jobs, the list goes on and on. I do have a lot to be thankful for, but I still feel like we have been busting our butts for so long and I should be able to see some form of tangible pay-off by now!
I think that the reason I like Dave Ramsey's program so much is because he is just so straight forward and blunt. He is like the financial world's Dr. Phil. He just tells it like it is. And I can always imagine his voice in my head when I am about to make a stupid decision or make an impulsive purchase. I equate going through his program like visiting a meat packing plant. Once you see the carnage inside, you wont ever want to go back to that life. After learning all that he has taught, you would have to be pretty dumb to make the same mistakes again, but I have to admit, living above your means is a lot more fun and a lot less work. I guess the tangible pay-off is having the ability to turn down a sub job whenever I want, and to not have to worry about a bill not getting paid. Of course the downside is spending one more day in our rental with my too small compact car, but at least I have the choice.
Well, I have been having some really fabulous and inspiring days lately, and I guess today was just a valley between peaks. I have our monthly cash budget all set up for the month of April and I am looking forward to how much we will be able to save up!! Our goal is to have a $20,000 down payment saved up for a house by this time next year...wish us luck and for a smooth ride!
Sarah
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