Living like no one else!!!

Dave Ramsey (okay, I refer to him a lot!!) has a motto to, "live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else!" Basically he is saying to buck the norm financially NOW (which is to spend and buy all of the fancy things) so that LATER you can live the life you always want instead of facing the reality of losing your home and living on social security like so many are doing now. I can tell you, that this is the hardest to follow of all his teachings! It is a daily struggle to wake up in my rental home, hand wash my dishes because I have no dishwasher, sit on my old tattered couches, wear clothes that aren't in style anymore or were bought on major clearance, and sit at home when my friends are out on vacations and other social events. So much of our self-worth is tied in with how we present ourselves to others, and many of us succumb to the pressures of trying to impress people and putting ourselves in financial ruin to do that.

Luckily, for us, my daily experiences, while very difficult to endure sometimes, are by CHOICE and not by necessity. We have been approved for a home loan, we could go buy a dishwasher today, we could pay for a new set of couches with cash, and I could go on a shopping spree or plan a vacation anytime I want. I just choose not to. John and I have talked about our priorities in life, and living paycheck to paycheck or paying credit card or loan payments are not priorities right now. We are choosing to pay off student loans, save up for a sizable down payment on a house, and live on one income so I can spend these irreplaceable first years with our son. Dave says that our values are expressed by where our money goes; clothes, cars, houses, vacations, and fancy luxuries like that are not where we want to put our values right now. We are determined to start our marriage and our family based on the values of independence, patience, community, and God. We have made many sacrifices to live that lifestyle, and while it is not always easy, I am already seeing it pay off. Let me tell you a few instances where our choice to save and maintain our priorities has saved our marriage and our family...

First example was when we first began Dave Ramsey's program, he said to always prepare for "Murphy" as in, don't let life sneak up on you, and plan ahead for emergencies. So when we received a sizable tax return that year, we put it away in savings for when my old jalopy of a car decided to kick the bucket. Sure enough, a few months later, my 1994 Ford Probe died on the Markham Bridge during rush hour and was a total loss. On top of that, John's SUV needed repairs that very same day after it began malfunctioning while he was driving around looking for a new car for me! Luckily, with the savings we had, and the money we got from scrapping the Probe, we were able to purchase a new(er) car and fix John's car with cash! Was it an inconvenience, sure was!! Did it devastate us financially to fork over $4,000 in cash that day? NOPE! What could have been a major strain on our new marriage turned into an opportunity to high-five each other and remind ourselves that we are doing the right thing.

Second example was the year John was out of work on an injury. While we were both working, we were able to make our payments on all of our bills with no sweat! Many people rely on their incomes to stay the same in order to pay their rent/mortgage, car payments, insurance, cable, phone, credit cards, and daily necessities. Some people, who are half-way thinking ahead, might even have a back-up for if an income is lost (most people don't though). But what happens when one spouse is in a graduate program full-time and can't work, and the other hurts themselves and is collecting disability for almost an entire year?!? Well, that could be disastrous!! John and i definitely struggled that year. We were still trying to pay off some old debts, on top of paying for our upcoming wedding. But luckily, we had paid off the major consumer debt by then, and were able to cut back in other areas to make do. It is a lot easier to cut back to necessities (lose the cable, eat out less, stay home more, maybe sell some stuff) when you don't have creditors looming over your back! Think about all of those pesky credit card and retail store and car loans you have...they are very hard to cut back, especially if you are upside down on that car! But it was nice for us, because we didn't have the consumer debt to drain us, and we just budgeted our way out of the problem!

The third example is where I feel like God really intervened. John was offered a position at his work with a sizable pay increase and room for advancement, which was a huge goal for him. The downside? It involved us moving almost all the way across the country and putting in more hours per week. At first it seemed like a no brainer...more money!?! Yes please!!! But the more we talked about it and consulted with the people that we loved and trusted, the more we realized that it wasn't the right timing. We had a newborn who was the first grandchild in my family and I really wanted to stay close and raise him with their support. I felt bad because I knew that I was holding John back from his dream, but I remember saying, "What if something happened to one of our parents while we were gone, Hudson would never know them." How prophetic that statement was. About a month or two later, when we would have been all moved and settled had we gone, my healthy, vibrant, and amazingly wonderful mother passed away totally unexpectedly. This rocked my world, and I couldn't help but imagine the resentment I would have felt toward my husband had he asked me to move away and miss those last few weeks with her, and the loneliness I would have felt having to head back "home" after her service to the void of family and friends. I really think God helped us decide to stay, and that our last memory of my mother, which was picking out pumpkins at Hudson's first visit to the pumpkin patch, was a product of his intervention. And God provided for John as well, he found out afterward that his company would pay for him to return to school and finish his business degree so that he would be able to move up in the company more locally. Our choice to put family ahead of money and "stuff" in this scenario literally saved our marriage and quite possibly my sanity!

This will be my longest and most preach-y post, I promise...In the future I hope to write about more tips and tricks I have learned, and possibly confess some stupid mistakes I have made along the way too...thanks for joining me in my journey!!

Sarah