Big changes ahead!

Dave's motto for getting pumped up to get out of debt is, "Live like no one else, so that you can live like no one else!" At this point in my life, I was not expecting to downsize and minimize and live like a broke college student, but if I want to get ahead and have the things I want someday, I have to make the sacrifices now. John and I have decided that, although we are making progress toward our savings goal, it is not fast enough! We are going to minimize big time. Whatever that is not essential to our survival or our sanity has got to be cut back or eliminated. We can either live a mediocre life now, or live a great life later. I want a great life. These changes are not going to be easy...or fun...but they are necessary. I want Hudson to know that his parents busted their butts to provide for him, and that we were not afraid to make sacrifices to get ourselves into a better situation. The first time we went "Gazelle Intense" I was working full time and John was working two jobs. We don't have that luxury this time because we have Hudson, but we will have to be creative and figure out a way to do incredible things with less money coming in.

I would LOVE to have any suggestions that anyone has to live on less, earn more, and be happy while doing it!!

Sarah

7 ways to have a baby without going broke!

As all of you know, I am obsessed with saving money and finding good deals, and being a new mom has posed some new problems for me: I am constantly navigating the world of baby toys, clothes, play dates, and the endless amount of "stuff" I need! I have found some great ways to raise a bay on a budget as well as made a few mistakes along the way and wasted some of my hard-earned dollars. Here are some tips on how to have a baby without going broke!!

Borrow, borrow, borrow!!! We were so lucky to have some friends and family loan us some essential baby gear such as a bassinet, a pack n' play, a swing, and a bathtub. Never in my entire life had I ever experienced so much generosity, and not until Hudson started nearing 1 year old did I realize why everyone was so eager to give me their stuff!! Not only does borrowing from others save you money, but it also eliminates the burden of having to store all of the "junk" for years and years until the next baby comes or sell it second hand for a fraction of what you paid for it! Take it from me, your baby will not get NEARLY as much use out of most of the toys and furniture and gear you are forking out top dollar for. Take people up on their generosity and borrow good baby gear, that is the number 1 way to save money! Make friends with someone who's baby is about 6-12 months ahead of yours and this stuff will just come pouring in :)

Find some mommy friends. I was able to join a "Mommy and Me" group at the hospital where I delivered for only $2.50 per visit. This was by far the best investment I have made as a mommy. I have made friends to socialize with (which is vital), we share stories and advice about issues that arise with ourselves and our babies, we share info on good products, baby sales, and places to go. All of us moms also started a Fabebook group to communicate and we are able to expand our friendship. The reason that this group has saved me money is that it is a super cheap place to go to get out of the house and be around friends and let Hudson socialize, as well as giving me a great opportunity to utilize the expertise of others before I buy things and borrow and try things out as well!

Ask advice and try-before-you-buy! Reading online reviews, asking friends who have children, and trying out products have become essential to me over the past year. I made the mistake of buying a lot of stuff before Hudson was born and when I saw popular baby gear at the store, only for Hudson to be totally not interested in it! And then there were other things that he played with at the homes of my friends that he totally loved! For example, for the first 4 or 5 months I bought pacifier after pacifier that he would actually keep in his mouth at night and in the car, but I could not find the right one!! Not until I took him to my sister-in-laws and a friends house, where he kept stealing the pacifiers out of his cousin and his friend's mouths, was I able to buy one he actually used! This goes for baby carriers (Baby Bjorn, Moby, Ergo...), toys, play equipment, food...anything! Ask someone to offer you a recommendation about what their baby likes, or even better, ask if yours can try it out (or borrow it) before you go out and spend the money to buy it!

Buy multi-purpose gear. I was so close to buying one of those super expensive baby food makers to make my own baby food, before I realized the food processor I already owned would work just fine (and he wasn't actually eating purees for that long anyhow). It's also super aggravating when you buy your baby a fancy toy and all they want to play with is your remote control, or your shoe, or your wooden mixing spoon! The cheapest and easiest thing you can do to entertain your baby is to just find random stuff around your house that they can play with, or if you have to buy something, try to find a product that can grow with your baby or be used for multiple purposes. Such as I was able to find an exersaucer (used of course) that Hudson could sit in at first, and then stand at when he got bigger. I also found a vibrating baby chair that worked great for newborn naps and stationary play and then was also a great pre-highchair feeding area for purees before he was able to sit up very well. Not only will this save you money on having to buy a lot of different items, it will also cut down on the clutter in your home!

Utilize your neighborhood. Most libraries have free story times as well as "cultural passes" that you can check-out for the day to attend local museums and activities around your area for free. Most indoor malls open their doors hours before the actual stores open, so this is a great place to go and just get some exercise and get out of the house for free (bring a friend from your mommy group for more fun!) Have a friend who lives in an apartment or condo? Set up a pool party and get some free swimming in! Hook up with someone with a membership to a local zoo or museum. I have a membership to my zoo with free babies under 2 as well as a free guest. I always post on my mommy group facebook page when I am going so another mom can come free as well! Local parks and schools are great places to picnic and stroll around, also many churches sometimes offer indoor play areas on certain days of the week that are either free or super cheap. Go on hikes, feed the ducks by the lake, visit a nature reserve, or just simply take a walk and get lost in your own town! And lastly, my mommy group and I always host monthly play dates hosted at someones house or a park where we bring snacks and toys and the babies play while we socialize!!

Don't over-buy before the baby comes! Diapers, clothes, bedding, towels, and all of those other "essentials" are always pushed on new moms to stock up on before the baby arrives!! But the reality is that your baby will grow out of them faster than you can use them, or they will simply not get used at all. My son was only in newborn diapers for his first 2 weeks, as well as newborn clothes. We wasted so much money stocking up on lots of those and he never even used them!! If you are having a baby shower, I can almost guarantee you will be well stocked on diapers and clothes to get your baby through the first 3 months at least. For sure go and buy those "have-to-have" adorable outfits that you just can't wait to dress your baby in, but you probably wont have to buy more than just a few items in each size for the first 6-9 months. Also, remember the season you are having the baby in. All of my NB-3 month fleece pajamas and socks went to waste because it was too hot to wear in the summer when he was born. When it comes to diapers, if you need to add to your supply after getting what your friends and family have donated, try to buy a few small packages from different brands. Each baby is shaped differently and will fit better in some diapers than others. I am a Pampers lover myself, but I know other moms swear by Huggies, and Costco and Target brand are amazing too! (this same advice also applies to wipes) As you start to get to know your little critter you will find that you (and the baby) prefer certain brands and styles of clothes and you will become a little more picky in your shopping and only buy things you KNOW your baby will wear and use.

Buy used, on sale, and out of season. Craigslist, second hand sales, clearance sections, and after-season sales have become my life saver!! Many great things can be bought used from friends, second-hand sales, or from garage sales or Craigslist. The only things that I would recommend buying new are the safety things like carseats, cribs, and bottles. Getting great clothes and toys and other seasonal items was so much cheaper when I was buying them for the future! Once you kind of get the hang of how your baby is fitting clothes you can buy them next year's winter coat this year after they go on clearance!! Borrowing that kind of stuff is always the best bet, but buying used or for dirt cheap is the next best idea!!

Don't forget to pass your things along to other moms when you are done with them or wont need them for a while...spread the mommy karma!! Let me know if any of the other mommies out there have any other great ideas!!

Sarah

Baby steps toward the baby steps...

So we have been on the cash budget again for about 3 months, and I am pretty disappointed in how I am doing this time though. I am speaking for myself in this post because John has been doing a lot better than me! The first time we lived on a cash budget for over a year and really stuck to it. I was super disciplined and only spent what I had allotted to each category and if something wasn't in our budget, we didn't buy it. This time through though, I have been cheating A LOT!! I think that maybe because I am not working as much, and instead spending more time trying to entertain myself and a toddler, I have been justifying going out to eat, shopping, and leisure activities more. We have been successful in cutting back in our spending however, and I am quite pleased with how much we have saved so far toward our down payment on a house...but I could do better.

In response to my failure, I have come clean with John about my "cheating" and asked him to better hold me accountable to staying on budget. He is such a great husband and often forgives me for my little spending indiscretions because he wants me to be happy, but I need him to be the bad guy every once in a while and make sure I am being held accountable for my spending! I also will be working even less this summer when school is out, so I need to make sure I am setting myself up with some good habits on how to exist as a full-time stay at home mom and not succumb to the temptations of going out and spending money to kill time!

June will be a new month with a fresh start, and I have a goal to stay committed to my budget and save every extra penny I can toward a house. I don't think I have ever wanted something so badly, and I just need to remember that every time I spend money on something I don't NEED, I am delaying that dream a little further. So goodbye Starbucks Chai Tea Lattes, and hello Crystal Light! Goodbye lunch dates, and hello picnics in the park! Goodbye Target shopping sprees for baby "stuff" and hello garage sales for things he really NEEDS!! I can do this!!

Wish me luck,

Sarah

Marriage and Money

Just a warning: this is a very personal post, and I hope that you will read it with compassion and understanding instead of judgement...

When John and I met in 2007, I was finishing up my undergraduate degree and living with my sister and he was working the night shift at a local home improvement store and living with his parents. It was a pretty whirlwind romance and he moved in with my sister and I within a few months, and we had our own place a few months after that. John bought into my dreams of going to graduate school right away and was so supportive emotionally, physically, and financially while I saw that through. We began combining our money almost immediately after moving in, because it just made the most sense logistically. He was footing most of the bills while I focused on school, so there was really no use in keeping them separate. Soon after moving in, we were engaged and planning for our future together! Slowly over the next year, our financial histories started making themselves aware to each other and we really needed to sit down and lay everything out. I was so embarrassed and guilt-ridden for bringing so much student debt to the relationship, on top of the consumer debt that built up after years of living beyond my means. John came with less debt, but most of it was in a bad state of neglect and he also had some lingering financial obligations to an ex. I think we were both so ashamed of putting this burden on each other that it was really hard to just be honest and put it out there. I would be lying if I didn't say that I had some resentment toward him for not only having this old debt but also for not bringing it to my attention sooner. I'm sure he was feeling equally overwhelmed by what he was signing on to as well as the main breadwinner for such a large amount of loans to be repaid. There were many days where I wondered if we could ever succeed financially together and get ourselves to a place where we could start fresh. There was a little voice in the back of my head saying that money ruins marriages, and what a mistake it would be to start off in such a bad place. I was scared.

I had a decision to make. I either needed to slow down this relationship and make sure that both of us take care of our own personal finances before we get married, and allow ourselves to come to the table with clean hands and a fresh start, or I needed to decide that I was in it for the long haul and work it out together. I chose the latter. John and i came to a mutual agreement that whatever debt or financial obligations that we were bringing to the marriage was now OUR debt. We were going to start over fresh as a couple, making choices together and aiming toward the same goals, and whatever we brought from the past would be tackled as a team. John got a second job working nights, and I got a second job as well. We both worked our butts off and were able to make good on some of the more pressing obligations that he had bought with him, as well as knock out my consumer debt one at a time using Dave Ramsey's debt snowball program. We both were put at ease knowing that whatever mistakes we had made in the past were behind us, and we would be able to trust in each other to make good decisions in the future. We were also much happier knowing that we were attacking our problems as a team instead of holding each other's mistakes over the other one's head.

Once we made the commitment to attack our debts and get them out of the way of our relationship, it really didn't take that long for us to pay them off. I really believe that our marriage is so much stronger because we were able to go through this process together and really put our trust in one another. I have never regretted the decision to take on his debts as my own, and I know that he doesn't either. There is so much more love, understanding, and harmony now that we are on the same team, instead of the resentment, arguing, and judging that could have come from expecting the other one to clean up their own "mess".

Hope that this provides inspiration to let some grudges go and focus on what is important in your relationship. If things are hard right now, make the commitment to team up, and it will be a lot easier to conquer!

Sarah

Purposeful Saving!

I have a hard time with immediate gratification. I have many long-term goals, varying from losing weight to saving for a home, but it is just so hard for me to put off the immediate gratification of a piece of cake or a night out with my husband now, for the pay-off of something big later! I look back on how much John and I accomplished a while back with our debt pay-off and our wedding and vacation on cash, but taking the next step of starting the major savings has been a little more slow going. We need to get our butt in gear! Maybe if I put my goals down on paper, I might be able to make them a little more tangible and easy to follow through on...



We are now starting month 2 of being back on our cash-only budget. Last month was relatively successful, but I did cheat a little on the groceries and stocking up for an upcoming party! I really need to hold myself accountable this month and stick to the budget I laid out ahead of time. I am hosting a couponing class for some friends this weekend, and I am actually looking forward to practicing what I preach again :)

John and I also set up a thermometer for our savings plan like we did for our debt repayment. What was so exciting about doing this was the fact that last time we were marking off what we were paying to other people, this time we get to mark off what we are paying to ourselves!! We will just have to make sure that whatever we put in savings stays there and doesn't come out!! We have a goal for $20,000 to put a decent down payment on a home with a sizable nest egg for home related emergencies or repairs. I think that it is totally do-able, and now that it is a visual goal, hopefully a lot easier to stick to and stay motivated!

John and I have also been sitting down to some inspiring and motivating "budget meetings" and just trying to get on the same page with our priorities; financial, emotional, and physical. He has been driving himself into the ground lately trying to keep up with a full-time job, school, being an amazing father and husband, and maintaining our rental property. He holds himself to such high standards, and it is hard for him to make sacrifices in something he takes pride in to better maintain his sanity. We had really big plans when we moved into this home a year ago to fix it up and make it a sanctuary, but I really don't think that it is possible anymore. We have spent so much time and money and energy and stress trying to make it look acceptable and it never seems to meet our expectations. It is such a great place to live, but if we keep being unrealistic, we are going to drive ourselves crazy! I have convinced John to only mow the lawn every other week and to give up some of the landscaping and repair projects he has planned. He needs to focus on de-stressing and working toward finishing his degree. There will be plenty of time in the future to make our own property outstanding, so we just need to maintain this place and stop trying to make it the nicest house on the block!! I could tell that when we made this agreement, that a ton of stress was taken off of his shoulders. I think it is important to re-evaluate ALL of your priorities every so often to make sure you are investing your time and energy into the right things!!

Wish us luck, and I would appreciate any other motivating strategies to stay on track and have fun at the same time!